Starting again

Morning

It is 445 AM right now – I gotten up at 4 am to make his lunch (I will make mine shortly – apple, grapes, pasta) and did a work out – not a long one today was the first work out I did in 2 weeks, I still feel like crap.

Something is wrong – I need to go to the dr soon, (I KNOW I am NOT preg just your FYI) I am getting sick in the stomach, Saturday night chris brought home a hamburger, and I puked, I gotten sick TWICE and I smelt that AWFUL smell of pickles it was just SO strong – something is interfering with my allergies cuz now its getting WROST – I need to see the specialist there is an appointment that needs to be made.

Yesterday – we gotten a KICK BUTT DEAL! For five chairs – for our deck, it was 500 something and we bought these comfy chairs for 129 bucks! *oh yeah* now we have to get a table, then our deck will be complete.

I was gonna make a girl’s game night but like I said with the hottub, kinda have to wait till this remodel is done, I know I am excited about this closet/craft room.

So chris can have his game room back. Last night I did some pampering I know I needed – I did stain feet/hands, now my feet feels good (mary kay), I took a nice shower, gotten new loofah, I did a good lotion all over that NEEDED to be done. I gave myself a pedi, and I painted my nails, the thing about the job I am working in now – not only it’s the office job my nails aren’t crappy all the time like it was at target, always breaking. Yay – that reminds me I need to take prenatial vitimins after this blog – oh my coffee!! I haven’t been to starbucks as much as I want to – but that’s okay – I get it does get expensive but once every week or two is good – today is one of them when I meet with someone tonight.

Btw I got my GOLD CARD FROM STARBUCKS *Finally* it looks really good with my name and when I  became a member

Time for breakfast – my menu: light yogart and apple. btw - i lost a inch of my waist - yay

New ideas....

Morning,

Someone gotten my MOJO back when she was here at my house on Friday when the boys took out the hot tub  - I did some beadings I couldn’t believe how much I did and how LONG it took.

I don’t want them for myself, there are some pretty cute things, I wanna support my hobby – but it isn’t cheap – I decided to take a bunch of other’s suggestions, sell… just to support it… if it goes well, MAYBE I will consider a business for it. I know it has happened before by others.

I am actually considering if I have so many within a month – maybe offer to SOMEONE to host a party (like a candle party/mary kay and etc) but I will have to figure out the hostess present.  I don’t want them to be UNafforable – once I get this going – I might consider to make REAL good stuff with JADE and etc – but maybe on ESTY they talk about? (but I doubt it) The one thing is the money i get will ONLY go to the beads. I shouldnt have to worry about paying anything else with them.

I got caught up in laundry yesterday *yay* I hate doing that chore – yesterday was a calm day for me – I didn’t have to deal with anything but me. I know I needed that – today the closet will be worked on (aka craft room) gonna be a while before I think about hosting anything at my house till it is done remodeling. I have big plans for that room – I will put in a small card table, a chair, my stuff chris will have a bigger closet when they pull the wall down from the guest room closet and the game room closet and make it bigger for him.

Today’s words:

Blessed above women shall Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, be…. Asked for water, and she gave him milk… she put her hand to the tent pin, and her right hand to the workmen’s hammer. And with the wooden hammer she smote Sisera, she smote his head – Judges 5:24-26

I am sure soon I will be writing about a certain verse I have a bunch of good ones I want to share!

Have a good weekend.

Now I know why I feel this way

Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us (a fortress and a high tower). Selah – Psalm 62:8

Good morning – it has been a while since I opened the book of “The Confident Woman Devotional” book my friend has given to me for my birthday – it started to help me when I was feeling depressed, like I am right now.

I feel lonely than I normally do – I just realized something when my sister sent me a email about her blogs – I realized – “Where is God in all of this?” and I have forgetting to write/pray to him, I have not been reading the Bible – Bible study has been put on hold until September. No wonder why I have been feeling moody, sad, hurt all this week. It pretty much started up again when we were heading home from our trip. That day was just a disaster, so many things kept hitting me so fast in a short amount of time, it was like so many different things. It almost made no sense, I went home having a breakdown, I cried till I thought I couldn’t cry anymore. I didn’t speak to anyone all this week, except yesterday I started to talk to someone. Just general talk.

Today I will need to do a lot of laundry due to the fact we had to bug bomb the house while we were gone, catching up on a lot of wash – my house is much cleaner, it needs to stay that way (the cat food, ants found the cat food, just in the spot -.-) that didn’t help the stress either.

Someone else made me realize – all these things I do – I am just pushing people away. Why? I wish I knew. All this week I had this “I don’t know what is wrong with me” and now I know why. I get more depressed when I don’t have Him around me, I know hes there, but what am I doing? I am not talking to Him, I am not praying or writing to Him. I know I am shutting Him out – I don’t want that – I will take the time to write to him today after my husband leaves to work, then I will write to him, start reading that book the daily book – I need to feel better about myself, I need to love myself, not hide myself. I know I am not easy liked – but it doesn’t matter I am lucky to have what I have. a lot of people don’t even have that.

I started to read Harry Potter book 4 last week – lemme tell you – it is NOT easy to get into it, I am BORED out of my mind…. But no I need to force myself and see what is all the fuss this is all about. Since my social life is pretty much a dud right now, seeing a friend once a month or even less I need to do more things on my hands, I know I am busy already – yesterday a bunch of boys came over to remove that hot tub (FINALLY after a freaking year) there is gonna be some remodeling in this house – gonna have two walk in closet one for me and one for Chris – mine will be the “craft room” well kinda, but my stuff will be in that room, and they are gonna remove the wall from the first bedroom and the guest bedroom closet and make it bigger for him and his games, and then put in another bathroom in the bigger bedroom/laundry room *just stink, toilet and mirror* so then we will have two and I’ll be happy – I hate having ONE bathroom. We plan on buying THIS house once we can afford it. I lived here as a child, and I am back in it, I have so many plans for this house. Now if I can get us to downsize a lot – have fewer stuff esp the ones we don’t use.

Another goal – I want to start updating my blogger more often. I think people should have updates about me – although which is sad the email I use for this account I don’t check often. (thedreamer1985 – if you need my new updated email address lemme know – I made a new one for professional reasons/less spam)

Have a great day.

Amber

An update of my life

Morning!

WOW it has been so long since I updated – shame on me – I LOVE blogging – sadly I actually havent had time to do like… anything.

I am not reading as much as I want except for the book club books – and I have been working on ONE book for the past two months -.-

I know I am spending a lot less time on FACEBOOK – but that’s a good thing – still trying to cut down.

Lets see what I can update:

1. I have started a new job (and I love it – not so horrible like Target or discrimating) but I still keep in touch with those from target that I still try to interact with the good ones. And I passed my 90 days – I am getting AWSOME benfits - that includes paid vaction times too. :-D
2. we got ourselves a new car – my kia was really dying on me, it decided to go backwards instead of forward, once at a light when I was trying to go forward (in front of a cop as well) it went reverse, and it has happened on other occasions I had to trick my transmission to get it in gear. We gotten ourselves a new dodge advenger express midgrade 2011 car and I am LOVING it. I know I cried when I gotten rid of my KIA – it was really heart breaking for me, I had it for so long, my first car that I BOUGHT, and so many memories.
3. my social life has been a dud – I have been hanging out with a few people but I have been so busy with work and life itself I haven’t had much time for anything. But I am grateful I will be seeing Miss. Sarah today – I haven’t seen her since birthday time.
4. I have been working out much more – I was brave enough to post up comparrassion on my weight loss – no one notices (or says anything but that’s okay) about the differences IRL – but I think with the pictures a lot can notice the differences. My weight has been a struggle for so long – sadly today I did not do a work out – I am just so burnt out this week – I have been making sure I am not eating the bad food.
5. I have given up junk food for 6 months – three down 3 more to go – I am actually considering to give it up even longer.
6. I miss my old style – the way I used to be, the way I used to wear my clothes, my hair, not caring about what people think of me – I was a tom boy – what happened? I was forced by society to be a girlie girl – but on weekends – I am carefree I wear what I please – I put on my baseball cap a couple of weeks ago for the first time in years, and I LOVED it.
7. Bible study got started back in May – I was so grateful – the people who are in the group I haven’t seen or heard from in years – which is great because now I can re build a friendship with them! J
8. Buffy is now 17 months old – she has been so good – she is a very good puppy, most of the time she is in control but there are a few occasions when she is extremely excited – but we keep in mind shes “8” years old in human years.
9. our cats – we gotten a doggy door from my parents since they gotten an upgrade – and they have been using it, so basically I haven’t cleaned the cat box in months –because they live outside, they love it outside. They are both microchiped (all of them are)
10. Dakota joins me and Buffy for walks when we go, she is an indeed a strange cat.
11. I picked up crocheting – but I haven’t touched the yarn or my God Sister’s Christmas present in a few weeks -.- I need to get it done before Christmas.
12. I have not beaded for a few months either.
13. we met a couple well – I met a couple and chris works with the husband during his Christmas party – we have been double dating  and I love it. we had our very first couple get away.
14. this weekend is our 2^nd wedding anniversary and we are going to silverwood – I never been there, or heard of it. I am pretty excited – and we are going with the family: Elizabeth, Ryan, Zach, Allie – it will be a lot of fun.
15. we will go to ocean shores in September, I am pretty excited, it has been too long – with the truck up and running, we will be bringing it for the boys to use (the boat).
16. last weekend I did some volunteer work – caring for kids – it still amazes me how people can be so ungrateful – this year was worst than last year – explaining to all these people “the limit is ONE per family – this is all we have we have a lot of people behind you” it really sickens me when people are that selfish, people worked hard getting the free stuff to give away – or paid a lot of money for donations. But I still felt really good at the end because those who really did needed it – gotten helped.

I think that pretty much sums it up – today I have a customer service classes to attend to. I am pretty excited about that – and it will build my job position/customer service stronger.

Have a great week!

God Bless

Amber

As i put my hair up in the messy bun for the last time

Good morning,

I have ten minutes before I have to head off to work, so I thought I would share my story…

Yes it is true, I donated my hair! It is going straight to the children, which is what I wanted… I felt so good, I was also very nervous because I haven’t had this short hair since I was a child.

I am looking much more nicer and office like which is perfect. I am loving my new hair, I am loving my new make over, I am done now :-) I have my nails, hair, clothes what do I need? Other than a new car which isn’t happening till next year – I already picked out what I want.

I feel so good about what I did, I know I did something to make a sick child very happy. I have beautiful healthy hair – it may be brown, but I get so many compliments on how soft, how beautiful it is… I need to share it… I will be doing it again next year.

The book club was fun – it is my turn to host, and I have no idea what food to serve or drinks.

A couple friend came over yesterday – we had so much fun the guys did their thing and us girls were beading she is so good – she taught me how to metal bead, and I made my first stretchy bracelet too – I understand now why people make to keep because I have seen the work she does it is unbelievable – I am loving our time together, and she is going to teach me much more! I wont be stocking up on presents – I will be making things FOR that person… it will take up a lot of my time, but I think if I can just give up some things I can do it – deff on Sundays. Next weekend, I will have Sunday free – it will stay free for me (unless it is Easter?) if its Easter, I cannot wait to color eggs, and have that traditional Easter breakfast… yum!

I am so blessed, I have a wonderful WONDERFUL job, I am doing so good. I feel good about myself, and working in an environment of disable people not going “well I am…… so I can work” you wouldn’t believe who is there! :-)  (it does annoy me when ppl use their small DA to make an excuse NOT to work --- but some bigger cases of disability works there… it proves it…) and better yet my job also gives to the community, I love the fact I am growing to able to give much more unlike retail its profit they don’t do enough community but GW is 24/7 plus I can still volunteer, and my hair ---- sighs… can my life be anymore amazing?! (I know I am bragging but it makes me SOOOOO happy)

Gotta go

God Bless

Amber

My new job - updates

Good Morning,

It is 5:53 am – I am showered but I need to put my make up on and do my hair – fix my coffee for tmw…

I am just LOVING my job, I never felt this happy when it came to work – not even Target not even at the beginning of Target. I cant describe how happy I am. Caring for Kids kept me happy but I don’t do it often enough, and with this job, I just LOVE it and I also help back to the community!

Yesterday my final training came – when it was supposed to be next week, but I was putting things in the shopgoodwill.com, and describing it, well yesterday they gave me a camera! I was just having TOOOOO much fun – but how can I not have fun – camera + me = fun time! I get to model the items, take pictures, I pick from white or black background, it is just so much fun.

Time goes too fast over there – except the fact I had a headache growing yesterday about an hour and half before my shift ends :( I think the fact the I wasn’t used to doing a lot of reading and sitting on the cpu for a long period of time – I KNOW I will get used to it. but I kept almost missing my breaks! -.- that’s how fast time goes… this is a sure thing – I know I will go through the 90 day probation so quickly. I am going into work with a smile on my face – I am just too excited to go!

Office work is the way I wanted to go – I got it, and I am much happier.

The best part – I can get along with every one – people are so kind and patient over there, they aren’t so demanding like Target after having expecations, they remind me “over the time… you will…” but Target is like “well you need to like now….” I am so fast I have been surprising people – but the one thing I can thank Target is that they helped me to speed up things – I was one of the fastest people at Target regardless of what the new supervisor thinks. I have some people there that backs it up, and misses me. I do miss some of the people.

I got my bridesmaid dress – now I just need to pay for alternations…. Ick! But at the end its worth it – but something I am thinking – what will I re wear that dress? When she told me something about wearing it again – it is a cute dress – I never re wore my prom dress, or my winterformal dress, or any of my home coming dress again. And yet I don’t have the heart to get rid of them -.- I know they were expensive! Lol.

Yesterday one of my cats – sebastain gotten out with chris yesterday at like 5 am – and he has been sneaking out so fast so quick we don’t even notice, he is not a outdoor cat but he is trying to be, he is not mirco chipped, and it worries me, but we will get him MC soon, because we really cant stop him from leaving, but i freaked out so much last night when he didn’t come home, in the rain or anything, I cried as I lost him, at 4 am this morning I gotten up paced around the house checking doors and etc, he wasn’t there, then 430 he was… and I was soooo happy and I grabbed and hugged him. Because last night I felt incrediably guilty. He was gone for almost 24 hours but I guess 23 hours.  I am just glad God kept him safe and brought him back to us. I know he will come back now.

Gotta go!

God Bless

Amber

Today is the big day

Good Morning.

Today is the 4^th of april – because the internet is down, this might be posted after the 4^th.

I am in the middle of getting ready, and I have an hour, I am already showered and I made breakfast, did my dishes.

I am so excited, I know today is the big day for me, and it is a big deal because it is a whole new career for me, something I have been wanting to do for years. At first I wanted to be an actor, but I am not quite good enough, so this is my back up plan. I am just still so glad to be free from Target I will miss some of the people there.

This weekend was wonderful, Buffy had a major diahrea accident while we were gone for a few hours in the kennel at my grandma’s house. We assume it is from the salt water and some of the food she might have ate. It was awful I hated that smell, that was one of the most nastiest thing we had to clean.

Yesterday we stopped at my sister in law’s house she had a party for my other sister in law and my father in law’s whos birthday is today, it was a theme party and we didn’t have time to find a 50s style clothes… oops. It was nice to see everyone it was fun and enjoyable, buffy was very good, and I know she was tired too. I was worried if she wouldn’t like to be outside. While everyone had cake except for me and chris – since we gave up sweets for lent, it made me think for a few minutes how Jesus felt. It was one of those good moments, I needed those minutes the entire weekend we were surrounded by sweets. I ended up smiling at random people who were eating cake lol.

Today is Buffy’s birthday also – she is now one years old.

I am gonna get off drink the rest of my coffee, and write to God. I know I have a lot of things to thank him for and prayers.

God Bless

Amber