About the Deaf World

Hey,

I thought I would write a entry about me being deaf, someone asked, I am pretty open about talking about it…

One was how did I become deaf, one of the most common ways in the 80s, I was 18 months old, I had the meseal shots, and I had a allergic reaction, I was born hearing.

There are three common way:

1. Shots (like the measel shot) allergic reaction as a baby
2. Loud music at a young age
3. head injuries…

there are other ways too, its pretty rare to be born deaf,  usually genetics, or theres a complication during the pregnancy.

I was put in a elementary school with the deaf program, which I met one of my best friend – we known each other since preschool, I have other friends who I knew since then too… then I met another girl who is also my best friend. The deaf community is so small, its pretty scary too lol.

The other question… HOW do I cope with it…

I don’t feel ashamed for being deaf, I don’t feel bad or sorry for myself, there are some people out there who just gets on my nerves “I cant work because I am deaf” that is complete crap. People can work when they WANT to unless medically says “this person cannot work” there are some people out there that makes us look really bad, and of course I don’t associate with them because they don’t do anything but sit around and feel sorry for themselves and take an advantage of the tax money.

I was lucky that I had speech therapy, I can read lips, I can speak pretty well for a deaf person. (I speak extremely well people don’t even think I am deaf, so therefore I am NOT hard of hearing… my left ear has 95 percent loss, my right ear has 90 percent loss) I do have that “deaf voice” that doesn’t sound clear, and there are letters I cannot hear or understand, when I talk, I don’t normally use bigger words BECAUSE I cannot pronounce them. ASL (American Sign Language) is the best communication with me. Its so much easier for me English is my 2^nd language. I rather speak in sign language, but I can do it both ways.

Do I feel bad because I cant do what other hearing people do?

Nope not at all, I have accepted it, I am happy, I know God planned me to become deaf, and I am happy. I do realize that I will never hear my child’s first words, babbles, laugh or anything like that, or understand a toddler. I will have to deal with that when the time comes. I will teach our child to sign as a baby into a child so that child can communicate with me.

Our dog, who is 10 months old, not only shes very good dog – she came a LONG way, I do not let her get away with anything so therefore I am the “bad cop” all her commands are in signs and verbals. I don’t use verbal with her, I have no need to. But she can do both, but because she is with me 24/7 she listens to my sign commands more than my voice but with someone else she would listen to their voice commands but I encourage people to sign to them, my friends are deaf, so my dog is deaf friendly.

The word “hearing impaired” insults me a bit, to some people it does and some it doesn’t, the word IMPAIRED, makes us sound broken… we aren’t broken. I know most of my friends don’t care but I rather use the term “Deaf”

Deaf people are very blunt, and open minded – when a hearing person (example) ask “Does this shirt makes me look fat” what will you tell your friend? The truth? Or a lie? Most will lie and say no and compliment on it…. the deaf person will be blunt and say yes or no. we are very blunt at times we don’t mean it as a insult. We will say “that is such a ugly purse” but a lot of us will keep our mouth shut, I know I have a hard time as well, but with my friends I can be 100 percent honest, but with some people I will just bite my tongue.

There has been times I would say something really stupid, and people would mistake it as the wrong way example: I was talking to my sister in law about a store, and I said “it is so nasty even YOU wouldn’t go in there the bathrooms are grossed even YOU wouldn’t go in there” implied I might have said “your bathroom is pretty bad but this is worst than yours” and I don’t mean it as that… I meant it as “Its nasty” and of course I felt stupid when my husband mentioned it to me, and we explained it and I was lucky she understood :-) 

My friends are pretty laid back which they are pretty blunt with me and all I could do is say ‘Thank you, what should I do….” Because I am open to any changes I should make, I once wanted to make a Jean Purse for my niece (Chris’s side of the family – my side the niece is too little) a 12 year old girl, for Christmas, I had a pair of jeans *And the 16 year old girl*  actually I had two pairs of jeans worn out, I was thinking to cut the legs off and sew it make it a “bowl” like and use the legs as straps if I cut it in strips, and get a “scarf” for the belt like, I thought it would be extremely cute, and I asked someone’s opinion, she bluntly (deaf) said “let me save you some embarrassment and time, it will be ugly and you would just make yourself look like a fool” it may sound insulting… but in our world… it is not – just blunt and honest.

NEVER use the words “deaf and dumb” that is very mean, it is like calling a African American person a really bad name if your white (I know some cultures its okay for African Americans to call each other certain names) or saying bad names to a white person. Or saying ANYTHING bad about a race.

In the perfect world, we do wish the movies comes with more CC (Closed Captions) for public movies but they do it on a certain day and time once or twice and it doesn’t work well for a lot of us I know not for me. Back in Washington DC there was a thing I could READ through to have CC for the imax, I wish they had that around here. We wish there would be more interps available for theatre, but again the same concept as the movies once on a certain day… I don’t remember having them be on a Friday night or a Saturday, it would be in the middle of the week, and I do feel that’s unfair. A lot of companies don’t care, they would put it off when they don’t pay for an interp, and it makes us cancel on them, but it would provide more service from us, but we are not stupid as they think we are. We are forced to go into the fast food because the drive through can get all screwy. Our equipments like special alarm clocks and notifications for door bells flashing, bed vibration, baby monitors are EXTREMEMLY expensive. (we have a lot of equipments we need to use for our every day life… but we cant afford them.) I have to go up to a city that’s about an hour drive from here just to go to a “deaf store” to get what I need, now, I am 25 years old, I had to get a new alarm clock when I was 16 years old the vibration stopped working and I had used it since I was like 12…. And it was 70 dollars, and now imagine how much it would cost NOW when the prices went up. and when a hearing person can buy one for 12 dollars for a basic one.

But I know in time things will get easier, we have to work 3 times harder than a hearing person to get through life, jobs, families, and etc.

There are a lot of deaf people who cannot understand English language, and they are smart, the reading level would be under 6^th grade, because everything is backwards… let me share an example – In English we would say “I am going to the store”

In ASL – “Store I go”

That’s why sometimes people wont understand what a deaf person is saying, it doesn’t mean they are low educated, it just means that we don’t know the proper English because that language is our language too. We just don’t know the English language. I have a childhood friend, he is  EXTREMEMLY smart, he has CP (I cant remember the name of it but it makes his legs weak, very skinny, shakes) he is deaf, born with many complications (if I remember that correctly) born deaf, out of the country he was adopted by a wonderful woman, he is so smart he could name all the presidents in order, and in backwards, he is unbelievably smart, and his English skills aren’t that great, but he is so into politics and he wants to help America he actually wants to be President, but people will not vote for him because hes deaf and has CP…. Its reality, but he could run for state senator, and I would vote for him, he has many good intentions to offer us. He has traveled a lot of places and saw a lot, did a lot… he is AMAZING. Honestly, aside from what we feel about our parents “My parents are the smartest” (Common most of us feel that way… ) he is the smartest guy I know. There isn’t anyone smarter than him – (that is not meant to be a insult, he is just too smart and my friends would agree who knows him)

When you meet a deaf person, treat them with care, kindness like you would treat anyone else, we don’t want special treatment – we deal with a lot of discriminations, but we don’t need special treatment. We are just like you.

I got dinner to take care of – have a blessed weekend, I know I am excited for my pamper day with a massage (professionally) and a pedi (again professionally) and a lunch…. Have a great weekend!

God Bless

Amber